Lessons We Learned in Our First Year of Marriage

Throughout the last year my husband and I have learned a LOT about one another, marriage, conflict, and ourselves. We were not properly prepared for marriage, despite the premarital counseling and marital advice books. I remember reading advice cards written out by guests that read "never go to bed angry," "remember to always love one another," "happy wife, happy life." My husband and I quickly learned that most of the advice we were given before getting married was not applicable.

So, in an effort to pass on some valuable (and realistic) lessons/advice about marriage, Wes and I sat down to write for you and your soon-to-be spouse. While reading through this, please know that every relationship is different. We all have different struggles and hardships and pain points. However, there are some things about marriage that are pretty consistent across the board. And, yes, you can go to bed angry. Enjoy the following marriage advice:

Lessons Learned in Year 1

  1. Give lots of grace. This is a non-negotiable.
  2. Let yourselves accept lots of grace. You are not perfect and this is okay.
  3. It is okay to go to bed angry and finish the conversation in the morning (half of the issue is probably that you're tired anyways)
  4. Just because your tolerance for cleanliness is different does not mean the toothpaste in the sink is a personal attack.
  5. Make sure you are checking-in daily.
  6. It's alright to sit on different couches quietly for the afternoon. Enjoy the company without the pressure of needing to entertain one another.
  7. Friendships with other people still need to be nurtured and are highly important.
  8. Meal planning and prepping is hard--even for two people
  9. Flirt. All. The. Time. (eventually it gets funny and you start to feel like a teenager again)
  10. Finally, this one is from sweet wesley, don't be a bonehead often

Happy one year anniversary, Sweet Wesley. I love you. I am here for you always.



Our beautiful wedding photos are by Danae Troyer

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